Friday, 9 December 2011

my new chemotherapy drugs were delivered yesterday

MY oncologists secrtary phoned to say my blood cont was low so I AKED WAS IT OK TO STAR THE NEW TABS AND IT WAS.

Wednesday, 7 December 2011

Re: Do you support the death penalty? DEFINATELY NOT

went to see my old oncologist today and he put me on a new chemoterapy drug taken by mouth calledEtoposide and informed me now my hair's grown back that I will lose it iagain in 3 weeks.

Saturday, 3 December 2011

wonderful brca sister. Caroline came all the wat from London to seeme today.
Had a lovely night out with our good frriends Dave and Tessa and Ianagedto leave my phone in Davee's car which he brought round fo me later bless him. Ialso had ny appointmnt with Doc Spooner for Wednesday through today.

Wednesday, 30 November 2011


Tuesday, 29 November 2011

Finally an appointment

Had a lovely day out with my sis in law and best friends Mo and PeteWonderful friends and family Also after hassling the hospital Ifinally have an appointment with my latest oncologisy after feelinf abandoned
 Really enjoying having my Sis in law to stay.

Wednesday, 23 November 2011

A bit of a happiier day

noter day in today .Gray went local shopping bless him and we had no significant ost . I tried to call my genetic councillor again to nform him of my brthers death but he was in Nottingham today and was asked to call tomorrow.
my best friend Mo had breast cancer the year bfore me and had a lesion on her lung but she had her last ct sca results today and they were good. there were lots of people worried about her. Last night we went out with her and a husband for a drink and a meal and I was absolutely knackered afterwards with cancer fatigue. It is so frusreating as I am usually so full of energy

Monday, 21 November 2011

Abit chirpier today

I've been a bit chirpier today as we went out to the local shops so I got out. Also our friend Dave phoned to let us know my brothers house is being clu
leaned out and that I sounded cirpier. My berst friend Mo has the resulits from her ct scan on Wednesday and I'm very worried about her. Tomorrow we will be going out with her and her husband Pete for a drink and a meal

Sunday, 20 November 2011

In a lot of pain at the moment as didn't take my painkillers early enough

Had a lovely evening with my brother and sister in laws family . Paul.Corinna ,their daughter Rae and sher boyfriend Robin with their son Kier and lovely Italian meal. Corinna brought me 2 of her beautiful canaries as a belated birthday present . I haveMarcella and Robert and I love them both

Wednesday, 16 November 2011

sTILL NOTHING ON AN APPOINTMENT SO i phoned MY ONCS  SECRETARY AND SHE GAVE ME THE DOCS TELEPHONE NUMBER WHIXH i Phoned but they hadn't recieved my notes yet. Phoned Lynn back and she said she;d sort it bless her. Gray has gone to pick up my rx and I'M LEFT ON MY OWN AGAIN WITH CARDS TO MAKE

Tuesday, 15 November 2011

Another day

Still scared stiff of dying and can't believe the pain is still gone Whoopie
As I was saying earlier I WAS SCARED i 'D GOT SECONFARIES IN THE lungs but I visited our next door neighbour Debbie today who also has asthma like me and she has had the same problem with the weather condditions with her asthma too.
Went to the docs for my flu jab and we forgot to take the stuff for the Embrace blood test so I'm going on Fiday for it.Last night we went for an Italian meal at our local Italian  restaurantwhich cherred me up a bi the the stress is getting to my hubbie and me and we've been snapping at each other but we always make up after

Breathless .is it Asthma or mets?

Went into the city centre today for an opticians appiintment but was informed it was las week when I was in hospital so I will have to phone them for a new appointment. I hae been very breathless today,don't know whether it's my asthma or mets in my lungs. I haven't been toldif there are. Feeling very scared of dying. i WANT TO GET CLOSER TO God before I die Wanted to go to Mass yesterday but couldn't get there so I watched a live Mass on the net and I woke up in the morning with no pain at all!

Sunday, 13 November 2011

Another day

Another day of feeling scared. Spoke to a go0d fiend on my mobile and my best friend arranged to take me in to see my work friends on Thursday which has given me something to look forward to
 Gray tookme for a short walk to the local shop. Sorry this is a short report but life is boring.

Saturday, 12 November 2011

Still waitung for an appointment

Still living in pain killers. Went to a course n card making this morning at our local office shop which was great as I mett local people again . We walked there which I managed but paid for it afterwards and I needed a rest We were supposed to be seeing our friend Paul today but he didn't contact us.

Wednesday, 9 November 2011

Another ct scan

Ihad another ct sscan to check my mets ad they have all grown back AHHHHH! wAS KEEPEN IN HOSPITAL FOR 5 DAYS I CASE MY HEAD SWELLED AND i HAD CONFUSIO. tODAY i SAW MY ONCOLOGIST AND HE HAS DECIDD TO TRANSFer me to another doc at rhe QE hispital to get on the parp inhibitors

Monday, 24 October 2011

Today my ister in law is coming to stay for a few days and I'm liooking forward to it The only trouble is that my muscles are giving me agony.

Looking forward to a visit

Saturday, 22 October 2011

Was looking forward to today as we went for a meal with our  GOOD FRIEND pAUL WHO PLAYS IN THE BAND WHO'SE playing at my party. i TRIED TO Persuade him toget them play a Black TSabboth number A bLACK sabboth number!!

Enjoyable day

Friday, 21 October 2011

Forgot to mention I'm off the Ibuprofen now as my mucles are feeling better.

Doing well

Hi all I'm doing well now but getting tired easily. I forgot my epilepsy tablets on Sunday night and had anoyher light fit on Monday morning but it was only a mall one and didn't last long..Ihave been getting out for walks and even went to Solihull yesterday and out with our friend .Tomorrow we will be going out with  a good frirnd tomorrow. Gray has now got his outfit for the party and it's only a week away. I'M realy looking forward to it

Sunday, 16 October 2011

Not been well

Hi ALL sORRY ABOUT THE DELAY BUT BEEN IN HOSPITALfor a couple of day after an epilectic type fit which left my left leg pretty ueless but i fine now and I'm home and well Occupational health came out and gave me some wonderful things to help mr bless them. Also I hd another badly pulled mule in my back which has been extremely painful especially in the morning when IT GETSSTIFF AND i'VE beenpractically been living on Ibuprofen. Stres sbrings the fits on so I've decided not to go ack to work as my job is stressful. I'm not going to tell them though as I can make some money out of them if tHey get rid of ME.

Thursday, 6 October 2011

Today we went for my ct scan appointment at Solihull hospital and could.t eat or drink anything for 2 hours before althogh I had my thyroxine and antihistamine. Iam still suffering from bad allergic rhinitis.
Itold them at the hospital it was a waste of time doing it AS MY ONcologisr had done one about 1 month before and before and will be doing another in a few weeks so they decided not to do it.

Wate of time

Thursday, 29 September 2011

another fit and my brother funeral booked.

Because of the hock of hering about my brother not leavimg me a penny in hi will and forgetting to take my anti epileptic tablet the night beforeand ended up in hospitalovernight in olihull hopital and also lo the ue of my left arm

Thursday, 22 September 2011

Tuesday, 20 September 2011

i THINK i TOLD YOUNALL ABOUT MY ALCOHOLIC BROTHER,well his neighbour and friend found him deD IN HIS PORCH YEATERDAY SADLY HE'S nanaged to dye from drink.
Ihave many fond memories of him from when he was younger.


Sunday, 18 September 2011

Good night out with friends.

Tonight we went out for a meal with our good friends Lisa and Brett and Mary really enjoyed ourselves and had a good laugh.
   I've had a lot of pain in my chest muscle after the panic attack from hyperventilating
 I must have damaged the muscle. The next day it felt really pulled,the next day  it went into aganising spasmthat I was screaming in pain and the next day it was stiff as a board I slept in one position as I was afraid of getting pain and woke up stiff as a board. Ihad to take Ibuprofen for a few days again. Today the muscle just felt like a badly pulled one

Wednesday, 14 September 2011


Spoke to my genetic counsillor today to tell him about the fact I'd been in touch with a cousin from each side of the family and they said they didn't know of other breast  cancers in the family.Isuggested my brother and I must come from the milkman!
Still trying to get back to work. My manageress /friend was going to write to my oncologist to ask if I am fit enough to go back. When I saw my oncologists registrar the other week he asked what I'd need to get back to work and I said a letter from them and he said he would sort it straight away but of coursw he didn't.One of my bosses told my manageress not to write but I should see my oncologist again and as him for a letter.
  My wonderful oncologist phoned me himself this afternoon and said no they should write to him so yah boo sucks! He says I should write work a letter giving them permission for them to get information about my treatment and to ask him if I was fit to go back to work.

Tuesday, 6 September 2011

Great day with my cousin

Went into Gray's work sadly for the last time to drop off the party invitations and we were both very sad as we would both miss everyone so much although we will still keep in touch with a few of them we were both in tears and Elaine in reception aswell as others said how much they'd miss Uncle Graham as they call Gray. We then went to my cousin Pat's who lives nearby there and has had surgery to move a bunion. Gray baked her a plumb cake which his workmates love but wont have any more although one of them has the recipe. Plum cake is one of Gray's specialities made from the plums off our plum tree in the garden.
 I printed photos of our cousins in Essex we went to see last week .I thought I'd put them in the bag to take but must have forgotten them,typical!
 My Aunty Mary in Manchester left a message on our answer phone to tell us none of the family would be able to come to my party sadly. I was really looking forward to them coming. But that now means I can now invite 2 of my old friends I wanted to invite.
 My wig is making my head very uncomfortable ,I will be over the moon when my hair grows another inch or two.

Sunday, 4 September 2011

After London

After the episode of the Arimidex side effect I need to improve my confidence still and I have been very teary after it.It turns out lots of other people have had the same side effect.
 Sadly my sister in law and her family can't come to my party and neither can my old Navy friend Jan and her husband due to work commitments which means we can now invite others I wanted to invite.
 My cousin Pat has now had her bunion operation done so we will be going to see her on Tuesday and taking a Plum cake which Gray is going to make for her.
 On Wednesday we will be going out for a meal and a drink with our best mates Mo and Pete which we are looking forward to and on Friday with our good friend Paul who always manages to cheer me up. Also he is in the band who are playing for my party and sadly he doesn't think the drummer will be available.
 we went to see Leicester Tigers play yesterday and sadly they lost.
my sister in law and family are sitting now by us and it was great to see them and hug them again as it is ages since we've seen them a whole year for Andy and Hannah but we have seen Marion a couple of times. Sadly they won't be coming to my party as Hannah will be Newcastle. She starts sixth form college in a couple of days. When I started going out with Gray she was a tiny thing and now she's 16.
 Just the normal household jobs today like washing and ironing so we sidn't get out of the house exept to the washing line!

Friday, 2 September 2011

A holiday at last.

Came back this afternoon from a lovely 4 days in London. I managed to see my cousins I've never met vefore and Hampton Court OPalace which I've been wanting to see since I was 11.
I will be putting pics on later. Also we went to see wear my great great grandparents got marries St. Mary's in Lewisham. The only drawback is that I had bad side effects to the Arimidex I started last weekthe same as I did Aromatase my hand went numb again which really scared me and I had a full blown panic attack like I'venever had before I was trenmbling all over. I stopped taking it and willphone my oncologogists secretary Lynnon Monday. I'LL JUST HAVE TO WAIT UNTIL BTHE PARP inhibitors come out .

Friday, 26 August 2011

oncologists appointment yesterday.

Had a very positive appointment with the oncologist today. He is very pleased with me and I will be going back to work very soon. I will be having another ct scan in 10 weeks to make sure my mets are still stable.
 I am over the moon to be going back to work.
 I spoke to my bosses today about phasing back to work. 2 weeks on 2 days and then 2 weeks on 3 days before going back to 4 as I was before. It's been 1 year since I first went off sick with secondaries.
 Spent hours yesterday making invitation cards for my party and took my work ones in today.
 Our wonderful niece Hannah got her exam results today and she's done brilliantly. She will be going to sixth form college.
 I wanted to tell everyone my good news so I phoned my cousin John but he wasn't there so I left a message on their phone. I phoned Aunty Mary who was there and spoke to my Dad in Law, niece and sister in law.

Sunday, 21 August 2011

Still confused

Have been in touch with one of my Irish cousins and they have told me there is no history of breast cancer on that side at all which goes to prove it must be on my dad's side.

Thursday, 18 August 2011


Had a great afternoon today as my cousin John was down from Bury in Lancashire and he came to see me. We haven't seen each other since he was 6 and I was 7 and he is a typical chatter on my mum's side and we got on like a house on fire. We will be going up there to see him and his family soon.
 We also went to the Barton arms and booked my party I'm so exited and looking forward to it. I started making a guest list tonight when we got back. We estimate about 100 people. We will be phoning Gray's friend who plays in the band tomorrow and I phone my cousin Pat tonight to tell her.

Monday, 15 August 2011

Another day

Went to the Wheatsheaf to do some shopping then we went in to Solihull to do some more before going for an Italian meal at a local restaurant .And whoopie we booked a hotel in London for four days.Also spoke to my friend in Hampshire about going down to see her but she is away so we will have to wait until she comes up here for my party in October sadly.
 My brother's friend Dave phoned me to say he hadn't seen him for 4 days and we were very worried about him that he may have topped himself as he has threatened to do so before. I tried phoninh him repeateadly but couldn't get hold of him and we were talking about going in to his house and probably finding his dead body. Then he finally phoned us and said he was ok.

Sunday, 14 August 2011

A day at home

Stayed at home today and spoke to my wonderful cousins Wyn,Claire and Bethany on the phone. I love talking to Claire she's so like me.Also did some card making and ironing and spent some time SITTING in the garden drinking Magners. Pretty boring day really sorry folks.

Thursday, 11 August 2011

Totally fed up with voicemail

My mobile phone rings twice then goes through to voicemail b the time I get it out of my handbag which  means that I have to phone everyone back and it's getting very expensive and with me on long term sick and my husband redundant we can't afford. I have tried going through all the settings but csn't find any way of solving the problem so I took it back to thes hop I bought it from and neither could they. So I put the question on Yahoo and found out I need to change the settings on voicemail. Every time I phone voicemail on O2 it says I have to change my pin but whatever I put in it says it's the wrong pin even if I put my old one in so I can't access my voicemail at all. I phoned O2customer services on my mobile but the stupid computer wouldn't accept any of the numbers I was putting in so I phoned them on the house phone and the lovely man on the other end is trying his very best for me . Iam currently waiting for him to phone me back on the house phone.
  I'm absolutely fed up as the pub we were going to book my party in has been trashed by the rioters so we will have to think again. I spoke to Gray's work mate whose in the band whose playing for us and suggested another which he was very happy with.

Wednesday, 10 August 2011

PI***ed off with the anarchists

I am absolutely pi**ed off with the rioting kids running our lives. The city centre is closed down again and we can't go on holiday because of the ba***ds.
 We managed to get into town early today to pick up my contact lenses before the city centre closed down and guess what the contacts that were supposed to be delivered at the begining of August turned up in the post today too would you believe it.
 There was no trouble today thank goodness but the city centre closed down just in case.
  Our good friends Mo and Pete came to pick us up to take us to the Barton Arms but it was shut down because of the rioters but we went to the Back Horse in Aston instead and it was very quiet there because of the paranoia. Sadly Mo was in a lot of pain from the surgery for her breast cancer.

Tuesday, 9 August 2011

Bloody rioters.

We went into town for a Bogarts reunion last night but were forced out of town by rioting looters . When we got into the city centre we walked through the middle of two great big gangs. They seemed happy,smiling and joking and gave out no vibes of aggression. Gray reckoned there was something funny going on and later they were running around town with masks on there face smashing shop windows in shop windows. When we got to the pub where the reunion was we foubd out that the reunion had taken place 2 days before even though it was publicesed on forums on the net as 2 days later. Bogarts was a rock club I used to go when I was 16 in the early 70's that featured local up and coming local rock bands. I reckon we saw Black Sabboth and Judas Priest amongst other famous Brummie rock bands as Birmingham is the home of rock. I phoned the pub and they said they were having another there in a couple of months. I was very disappointed as I had been looking forward to it all week and I was wearing Patchouli oil as we did in the 70's and my Rammstein t-shirt.
 The riots have spread all over the country's cities.
  This evening we went for a balti in our local balti house and we met a lovely Irish man fom Dublin who loved talking as much as I do and I really enjoyed it. I mentioned how I couldn't drink Guiness as it isn't vegetarian and he said he doesn't like it.
  Hopefully the city centre is still in one piece as I need to pick up my contact lenses tomorrow from Boots.

Saturday, 6 August 2011

Great afternoon with friend

Had a great afternoon out with one of Gray's workmates. We went to Chez  Jules for a meal We then went to the Bacchus Bar
 We had great fun as he is a lovely man with a great sense of humour and a great friend.

Thursday, 4 August 2011

Dam allergy

I take Zirtec every day for my hay fever which I started after Clarityn stopped working for me as my body got immune to it. If I don't control my hayfever. I get an asthma attack with it so I decided to try clarytin again.I've been walking around the house with a tissue up each nostril as my mum used to because my nose continuously runs.
 Tomorrow we will be going to Stoke to see my wonderful BRCA sister Rian who is having her reconstruction done. She has just had her expanders fitted and they look awesome. I h and we are taking her some have made her a card which I hope will amuse her and we are taking her some chocolates and flowers.

Tuesday, 2 August 2011

A visit to my genetic counsillor.

Met my genetic cousillor for the first time yesterday. My original one went to New Zealand. Iwas with him for 45 minutes and we had a long discussion. He told me the gene has definately come from my mum;s side which we're all surprised about as all the BRCA related diseases are on my dad's side.It just doesn't makr sense and 10 of my cousins on my mum's side have all tested negative. He also said I'd put a great weight on my shoulders looking for family to br tested. I have been doing the family history for 6 years. My mum's mum was born in Ireland and I haven't been able to trace that side as they have hardly any records on the net.I tried to get hold of her birth certificate but she hasn't got one as they didn't register births there at the time. We assume the gene is on her side and it's very frustrating. I managed to contact the local cathedral where she was born and the priest there found the baptismal certificate and now I at least know her family. It's not fair to ask them to look for more sop we're going to have to go there next year to the church and look ourselves.
  As we were at the Birmingham Women's hospital yesterday to see my counsillor as the genetic clinic is there we dropped in to Gray's lab to see all his mates. Sadly it will be the last time as he's been made redundant. I made him a retirement card which he was very happy with.
 Today we are off to Solihull hospital for the last but one of Gray's exercise classes.
  I went to my docs yesterday to pick up my prescription and I left my jacket in the toilet accidentally as it was very hot and steamy so Iwill have to go there and pick it up today.

Monday, 1 August 2011

Good Afternoon

A gorgeous hot and sunny day in Brum today and the day of the Sheldon Coumtry Patk Show which was suberb. I had a go on the rile range and won a teddy bear. I used to be in the Royal Navy and used to shoot 22s for fun. I was so good they were going to put me in the shooting competition at Bisley but never got round to it.
 I will be seeing my genetic counsillor tomorrow and he wanted me to take in my family history so we printed it out this afternoon and I made a thank you card for Grays workmates for the great send off they gave him. But I accidentally put clinic on the front instead of lab!
  I'm watching my favourite programme Time Team then I'm off to the land of nod.

Friday, 29 July 2011

Day out.

Today we went to Stratford on avon for the day and visited the most haunted house in the country but my EMF reader didn't go off once.
 The global Gathering was on and the place was packed with young people very well behaved and pleasant. I spoke to one in the ladies toilet queue or line as the Americans call it. I asked her if a music festival was on as I had guessed from the number of new people and she said yes so I asked what type of music would there be there and she said dab dance.

Thursday, 28 July 2011

Great time with friends.

Gray wanted to go in to work to empty his locker of a load of rubbish so off we went to the West Midland genetic lab at the Birmingham Women's hospital.  Afterwards we went to the proverbial pub in harbourne for a couple of drinks and then to zizzi's restaurant for a meal. I was not impressed by the choice or content of the veggie food. The starter I had to eat a couple of pieces of non descript pizza off a sharing plate which had squid on it and my pizza was absolutely tasteless it was like eating just bread. The Tiramiso was really sickly and too creamy but the company was awesome and I so enjoyed the evening.
   The evening was dedicated to those being made redundant and Gray and Paul's retirement. A speech was made for Paul and I was going to make a speech for Gray but he wouldn't let me.
   We asked them what they thought of going to my birthday party and it being a mutant party and they loved it. WE asked Paul if his band would play for us at the Barton Arms and he was very exited about it and said it was a great venue so I have that to look forward too. 

Monday, 25 July 2011

Family Tree

For many years I have wanted to do our family history and even though my mum bought me a book on it in the 1980's I still hadn't got a clue how to do it. Then came the internet and what a revelation and anyway I hadn't got time to do it as I was working full time in Plymouth.
 After moving back to Birmingham which is where I was brought up I broke my wrist in Leigh on sea Southend while visiting my brother and sister in law with Gray. I fell over a pavement stone that had been placed on top of the pavement and I was off sick for 7 weeks so I had the time and the internet was a revelation. I went to Solihull library and found I found that I could use ancestry for free on their computers. and we bought family tree softwear for our computer and I was well away. Gray thought I was
a bit weird but once I got going he wanted and started hid own. The only regret I had was that both my parents were dead. My genetic counsillor wants me to print it out for him.
  It would have been my Dad's 88th Birthday on 21st July so I made a birthday card for him and put it in the garden of remembrance.
 Yesterday I phoned my very old ex Naval friend and had a lovely chat with her and got the number of another old friend from her so I phoned her to and she was gobsmacked to hear from me.
 ataomorrow I'm seeing mu brother for the first time in ages for lunch. He is a recovering alcoholic.

Sunday, 24 July 2011

Beautiful day

Today in Brum is an absolutely beautiful day and the sun is shining lots of warmth and I'm sitting in the garden with a glass of beer after having an ice cream what could be better. We went for a walDcountry Park and watched the aeroplanes taking off and landing.
 I tried phoning my friends Anita and Sarah with no reply and spoke to my wonderful father inlaw who is going in to a care home while my brother and sister in law are way on holiday. I  also tried skyping a few BRCA sisters with no reply.

Saturday, 23 July 2011

Bye bye steroids

Because I have no problem in my head as it was caused by a bang on my head and not the breast cancer I am now being weaned off the steroids. Thank God I did have that bang om my head or they wouldn't have found my secondaries.It was' as if it was meant to happen. I've got a guardian Angel looking after me and all the prayers mine and Grays family helped me loads I'm sure.
 Nothing special to do today exept make an anniversary card for Marion and Andy my wonderful sister and brother in law as it's their 24th wedding anniversary. We are also hoping to go to our local pub for a tipple
 This evening I had a smashing chat with my great aunt Mary in Manchester and I mentioned how I had had a chat with my wonderful cousin Claire and the fact that she is psychic and she wasn't at all surprised so it seems like it runs in the family. I've often thought I had some psychic abilities and some years ago I had my horoscope done by a serious astrologer who said I had strong intuitive abilities verging on psychic.

Friday, 22 July 2011

Home of Metal

 The city I live in Birmingham Uk is the home of Heavy Metal including Black Sabboth and Judas priest and the city council have put a brilliant display of Heavy Metal which we went to today and thoroughly enjoyed it. I have been a heavy metal freak since about 15 years old. Once a rocker always a rocker
 Yesterday would have been my dad's 88th birthday and I made a birthday card for him to put on the garden of remembrance but we didn't get time to go there yesterday so we went today instead and as usual I was in tears as I miss my dad so much.
  I also tried to book a plot for myself but they said they had none sine 1960. I also asked about my grandmothers grave but they wanted the exact date of death and I only had the year.

Wednesday, 20 July 2011

Good meal out

Had a lovely Thai meal out with our friends Mo and Pete at the Barton Arms  Food was great and so was the company. My BRCA sister Lita and I tried to Skype each other but had problems and had to word message each other instead.
 Another of my BRCA sisters  went into hospital in Derby yesterday for her reconstruction and had surgery this morning to have her expanders put in. Her worderful husband Graham has been posting us updates on facebook and we are hoping to visit her in Stoke next week.
 Tomorrow we go to Solihull hospital for Gray's exercise class again.
  My wonderful husband Gray clared the junk from under the bed and I managed to retrieve all the photos thanks to Gray. Tried to scan them on to the pc but they don't seem to have worked. Will probably try again tomorrow.

Tuesday, 19 July 2011

Cpd day

Went to Grays heart rehabilitation lecture on risks of heart disease and life support which gave me 2/12 hours of continuous profesional development. Then we went to our favourite Italian restaurant and tomorrow to his exercise class and I will be able to go shopping on my own yipeee!
 I am feeling absolutely bursting with energy both physically and mentally and desperate to be around lots of people and party. We talked about arranging a party for my Birthday in October.

Friday, 15 July 2011

Great convo

Had a really enjoyable long chat with my cousins daughter Claire We get on like a house on fire and we have so much in common it's incredible , same bands and everything and she is an amazing pschic,I can't wait to meet her.I had an emotional morning for some reason don't know whether it was the BRCA or the cancer. Gray phoned my oncologist's secretary Lynn and she said yes the effects I've had were probably from the aromasin. Mo and Pete came round with some veg from their allotment. . my wig now has a hole in the crown so we will buy a new one tomorrow. Mo and Pete our best friends are coming round so we can go to town to buy a new wig and to go for a tipple at my favourite pub. Anyway getting late now so I am going to snuggle up to my husband in bed.

Tuesday, 12 July 2011

Feeling a little happier.

My wonderful husband Gray has been taking me out to cheer me up bless him and yesterday I work up and thought ooh I'm back at work in  weeks and that really cheered me up. Wierd I expect you're all feeling but I absolutely love my job.
 Tomorrow Gray is taking me to Warwick Castle
  I spoke to my friend and work manager yesterday and she has invited us to go for a drink and listen to some live music together on Sunday which I'm really looking forward to.

Wednesday, 6 July 2011


Had a lovely chat with my genetic counsillor on the phone yesterday about how I felt and was in tears so he decided to suggest me going in to see him which I said yes as I'd love to meet him.
 The priest at the church in Killarney contacted me to say he couldn't find my grandmothers baptismal only Cherry. Her name was Sherry and he suggested a spelling mistake and I though of course Sherry would sound like Cherry with an Irish accent. It's important I trace her family as it's the only side I can't get back on so we assume the gene comes from her. My grandmother came to England with one of her sisters so they would be at risk to if my mum did have the gene.
 Both Gray and my counsillor is wondeing if there has been a mistake and my cousillor thinks I should be tested further in case I've got a BRCA 1 gene aswell from my dad's side as they have a strong family history of BRCA diseases. We shall see.
   Also my oncologist had asked me to phone him to get the report on my mums test and to inform him about the latest on Parp inhibitors as I had told him my counsillor had told me about them

Friday, 1 July 2011

Feeling very depressed.

Feel like I've wasted my time being gene tested as the reason for it was to save the lives of my BRCA positive cousins but I can't get in touch with any of them on my dads side or my maternal grandmothers si                                                                                                                                                                                          de. All the cousins on my mums side have thankfully come back negative
My friend Mo has been told the tumour in her lung is smaller than they thought it was ,it was a typing error!
 My sick pay has run out as I have been off sick for 9 months and statutory sick pay only lasts 28 weeks.
I phoned the Macmillan helpline today and they were very helpful. I'd had a look at the form on the net and it's means tested so I didn't think we would be able to get it but they told me we could under the special rules. I have been very worried about money as we have none coming in now apart from disability living allowance as Gray has been redundant.I will be phoning my oncologists secretary to get a form I need for it.                                                                                                                                         When my Dad died he left their house to my brother and me straight down the middle. I have asked him for our half of the money as we're desperate as I have many times before but he still refuses. I was very upset and in tears and he called me a bitch.       
 I phoned Breast Cancer Care today about the t-shirt I ordered and asked for my cousin but she doesn't work there any more so I looked her up on 192 and found a few with her name who live in her town. I phoned them but they weren't in so I left a message on their phones. One was in but she wasn't the right one.
  My oncologist wants a copy of my mum's mutation and the information on the parp inhibitors from him so I tried phoning him but he wasn't in.
 I had a phone call from St Mary's yesterday, he left a message on the phone for me to call him back about my grandmother. I phoned but he was conducting a funeral.

Wednesday, 29 June 2011


Had my oncologist appointment today after my chemo. It was very positive. Aparntley I had mets in my liver which he apologised he hadn't told me before but they've much improved. Also the rest are now stabled so very good news.
 My best met Mo also had good news thank God as we were very worried that she also may have secondaries.

Tuesday, 28 June 2011

Normal day really

Went to Solihull hospital with Gray for his heart rehabilitation exercise class and was  bored stiff watching as there wasn't any other wives to talk to so I said I'd look round the shops on Thursday when he goes again.
 I have been having to wear a mask in the bathroom because of my mould spore allergy so we renewed the bath sealant yesterday. Don't know yet whether it's helped my allergy as I haven't had the courage not to wear the mask yet.
 My eczema's playing up again so I got some steroid cream for it and we enjoyed a meal at Wagamamas.

Thursday, 23 June 2011

Hair growing back

We went to Solihull hospital today for Gray's heart rehabilitation exercise class and I had a lovely chat with one of the wives. We then went shopping in Solihull and bought a couple of bottles of sparkling red wine to celebrate our wedding anniversary tomorrow. before going to our local pub for a couple of drinks and then a balti.
  Anyway I must go and wrap up Grays pressies

Friday, 17 June 2011


Iam now confused as I have had the result of mum's BRCA test. My mum died in 1995 from ovarian cancer and they managed to get a sample from her tumour and get the DNA out of it and test it and it came back with the same BRCA2 mutation as mine. However all the BRCA 2 diseases are on my dad's side. I've been doing the family history and have got back to the 1700's and found no BRCA diseases on mum's side.
 I have also found another cousin many times removed who has all my paternal grandmother's family in her tree and she has had breast cancer and is BRCA. She is friend on facebook so I've e-mailed her but she hasn't got back to me yet.
 The other day I spoke to my cousin'd daughter who lives in Essex and I haven't seen or spoke to before and we got on like a house on fire she was so like me.

Sunday, 12 June 2011

Friends back

Mo and Pete came round today,they've been on holiday to Sorrento and we haven't seen them foir about 3 weeks We've missed them We're going out with them on Thursday
 The weather today is abonimable continuous heavy rain We were going to to Blakesley Hall today if it wasn't for the weather
 I'm in the process of making an engagement card for my friend Kelly a work.

Friday, 10 June 2011

CT scan

Hi I had a ct scan at the hospital today and have an appointment with my oncologist in 3 months to get the results.
 Also I picked up my new inhaler today.On the prescription it says to take one puff twice a day when it should be two a day. I've been taking three puffs but I took two puffs yesterday morning to try and eek it out but I had trouble breathing that day and slight tingling in my legs all day.I took three puffs that evening and the next morning and had no trouble at all today so I will go back to three again.
 On the way to the doctors I turned my emf reader on, turned the corner and crossed the road And as soon as I did the emf reader went off and didn't stop until I was half way up the road so it seems like the road was built on top of an ancient burial site. It alsi went off as as I walked past the graves at St Giles again.

Wednesday, 8 June 2011

New inhaler prescription

I noticed this morning my inhaler is running low and I didn't want to get into a mess as I did last time when it ran out completely so I took a repeat prescription into the docs. as I'm into ghost programmes I bought an evp reader or ghost meter from Amazon. My docs surgery is next door to a very old church which goes back to the English civil war which has a churchyard with graves in. As I walked past I turned the evp reader on and it went mad so there's lot's of ghosts in there.

Tuesday, 7 June 2011

Another 3 months off work.

Because I work in dentistry my work has been instructed ny the PCT to check with my oncologist if I'm fit to go back to work. Now I've finished my chemo I've really been looking forward to going back to work as
I've really missed it and the people as I love my job.
 I spoke to my manager and friend Helen today and she'd had a letter from him saying he was very pleased with my progress and I was doing really well but doesn't want me to go back to work for another . months when he wants to review me. I am very upset with that.
 On Friday I will be having a ct scan to see how well the chemo has worked. At least by 3 months my hair will have grown back and I can spend the Summer with Gray as he's been laid off.
 As I'm doing the family history for years I've found a cousin on my dad's side. She's got all my paternal grandmother's family in her tree. She's also a friend on facebook so I've messaged her. It will be very helpful because my genetic counsillor and myself have been trying to get in touch with my dad's side for a long time as we lost touch with them years ago.I wrote to one cousin and she totally ignoredme. The main reason I wanted to be genetically tested was to save my cousins lives.

Thursday, 2 June 2011

New land phone

Today Gray managed to get water into our land phone and it gave up the ghost. So we had to go into Solihull to buy a new one.
 As Gray snores I always used to listen to my heavy metal on my i-pod to drown the noise but it is now lost so he bought me a new one today from the Apple store. However when I plugged it into the laptop to download i-tunes it wouldn't accept my password . itried the only 2 passwords I've ever used on any site over many years but it wouldn't accept them so I cliked on forgotted password but had no e-mail off them. So I tried regestering on it again but it said I was already registered.
 Also I skyped my friend in Portsmouth and she is doing well. Saw and spoke to her son for the first time too. He's at uni in Plymouth which is where my friend comes from and I lived for 6 years.

Tuesday, 31 May 2011

Sadly missed

Last night I sadly missed a FORCE webinair as I got mixed up wit US east coast time and UK time.

My Maternal grandfather's poem

Here is the poem my maternal grandfather used to say recite to my mum when she was little and my mum used to recite to me when I was little.

Wora lovely night
Wora lotta stars
Wora lotta bars
Icame to court yow
Dain't yow know?
I told yowr mother
Dain't she tell yow
I's agreable
She's agreable
Aint yow eh?
I assume my maternal grandad worked in the Black country. Sadly I never met him as he died about the time I was born but my mum said she'd taken me to see her parents when I was a baby and my memory's not quite that good!
My grandad was a decorative hand glass cutter of table ware and I have a beautiful y decorated vase of his and there is also a beautifully decorated wine glass that is sasdly chipped.
My older cousin had met him and I ask her about him.

Monday, 30 May 2011

old friend

Gray was rummaging around a drawer we haven't used in years and found my old filofax which had names and addresses of old friends from years ago who I've lost touch with so I tried phoning a few. One was out so I left a message on her phone with my phone number.I got through to one and she was over the moon to hear from me ,we swopped mobile numbers. On one number it said the number doesn't exist.
 I had a lovely time on the TAPS chat site .
 I've been trying to transfer pictures from the camera onto the computer but I couldn't get the softwear to work it woorked fine wehen I used it last week I don't understand that was on the laptop so now we're trying on the desktop but we have to install the softwear first.

old friend

Gray was rummaging around a drawer we haven't used in years and found my old filofax which had names and addresses of old friends from years ago who I've lost touch with so I tried phoning a few. One was out so I left a message on her phone with my phone number.I got through to one and she was over the moon to hear from me ,we swopped mobile numbers. On one number it said the number doesn't exist.
 I had a lovely time on the TAPS chat site .
 I've been trying to transfer pictures from the camera onto the computer but I couldn't get the softwear to work it woorked fine wehen I used it last week I don't understand that was on the laptop so now we're trying on the desktop but we have to install the softwear first.

Sunday, 29 May 2011

My wonderful BRCA sisters

Last Thursday the day after I finished my chemo and Gray's birthday my wonderful Swedish BRCA  sister flew vinto Birmingham airport. Another of my wonderful BRCA sisters Rian and her BRCA cousin Maxine , me and Gray went to meet her there and we all hugged each other. We had a coffee then Rian took Sussane to Stoke to stay with her and then they went down to Potters Bar to stay with BRCA Caroline and see BRCA Lisa and BRCA Liz. I was sad I couldn't be with them especially as they went to a rock club and I'm a headbanger.
I've often thought my dad's family originated in Scandinavia so I put a search on google looking for Scandinavian BRCA mutations and guess what mine was amongst them. I messaged Sussanne and said we may be related!
As I've been doing the family history for about 8 years I went onto Ancestry today and foubd a relative connected to our great great great great grandfather so I left a comment for him and my mobile number in case he wants to phone me.
On the 23rd May it was my mum's birthday, she died in 1995. So I made a birthday card for her and we went to visit her grave sadly one day late so I made it into a belated card that's the advantage of making your own cards.I had chosen a white marble tomb stone and we hadn't been there for quite a while and it was really mucky. We took a micro cloth and an empty bottle for water and had a go with it but it's not perfect we will have to take a scrubbing brush next time.

Friday, 27 May 2011

End .of chemo

This week I had my last chemo and I've just got to wait until the side effects of painful muscles to go which should take about 4 weeks before going back to work. We went out this evening to my favourite pub and Thai restaurant to celebrate.

Monday, 23 May 2011

new presctiption

, I made the card in tohe other day my clenil inhaler ran out totally. Luckily I still had my old 30 mcg one the old docs gave me so I had to take 11 puffs of tyat as equivalant of a couple of the 200 mcg one.
 It's my Mum's 81st birthday today so I made her a Birthday card to put on her grave today but it was  too late after coming back from the pharmacists and it was windy and raining. So we will go tomorrow instead. I made the card into a belated one. My mum died in 1995 from ovarian cancer.
  Last night I had a nightmare like I haven't had  since I was very young. I dreamed Gray and I went on holiday and Gray met a girl called Claire and was having an affair witth her. I woke up in tears it seemed so real and Geay hugged me and put my mind at rest. Iknow he wouldn't do such a thing and I trust him implicently.

Friday, 20 May 2011

new contact lenses

Today we went in to town to pick up my new prescription contact lenses. I put them in while there and when I opened the one packet strangely there was no lens inside. I've never come across that before. They are going to replace it for me.
 We were supposed to be meeting Gray's workmate Paul but he didn't gdt in touch with us so it was no go..
  We decided to go for a balti at Spicewoods ,one of our local baltid . We are now both very tired.

Thursday, 19 May 2011

Day in Mostly

Today I had a very exiting day! Went shopping to the Wheatsheaf our local shopping centre to get my Apple and raspberry J2O;s and my soya milk. Holland and Barrett's freezer and fridge were no more ice cream for me for a while.Their fridge had only just been repaired aswell. I said I would sack them if I was the repair company. I also went into Osbournes the office shop to get some get well stuff to make a get well card for Mo my best friend had surgery for breast cancer.
 I made a card for my sister in law as it's her birthday soon,one for Mo and a Birthday card for my mum. My mum died of ovarian cancer in 1995 but I thought it would be nice to visit her grave with a card.Also it's Dad's day on 19th June so I tried to make a Dad's day card but you can't get card making stuff for men exept cars and sports and Dad was not into either of them. He liked birds so I tried to print some pictures off the net but it didn't work then I thought of my sister in laws facebook will have pictures of birds as she keeps them in the garden in an avery. My Dad died in 2007 but like Mum I thought it would be nice to take a card.
  I phoned my genetic councillor today and had a lovely conversation with him he's a very nice bloke.. He reminded me that although I was turned down for the Parp inhibitor trial I had a chance still of getting on it and I remember them saying that in London when I went for it they said that. Also he pointed out that it would be licensed soon and all BRCA positive people will be offered it. Yipee!

Wednesday, 18 May 2011


This morning I put my eyelashes on and got in a right mess again. My good friend Claire said yesterday that she she tried them once and got in a right mess. I put them on today because we're going out with Donna a good friend who Gray works with and is also being made redundant. I'm looking forward to seeing her..
 Gray is in the garden he has decided to move the greenhouse to a sunnier place I am worried    
 he is going to do some damage to himself after his quadruple bypass.
 Our best friend Mo is having surgery for her breast cancer today and I'm going to make a get well card for her.  I made a birthday card for Debbie our next door neighbour which I took round yesterday.
  I received the magazine of the Dental Hygienist's Association the other day which means I can do another hour of CPD which I've done. I went on the website to put it on but it wouldn't let me log in, I needed my membership number and I hadn't got a clue. But I had a good clear out this morning and chucked out a load of old clothes that don't fit any more ready to put into the charity bags that come through the door and found my old big purse which had my membership card and it still wouldn't let me log in so I phoned them but he couldn't sort it out straight away as their computer was going slow so I will try again later.
 I had a letter from my cousin Wyn saying that my cousins have been trying to finf me on facebook but didn't know what my facebook name was so I am going to write her a letter when I've finished this.

Tuesday, 17 May 2011


Today I went in to work today and enjoyed seeing my mares again. Attended the practice meeting which I haven't been able to for a long time which I got one hours CPD for. I've been very worried about CPD as I haven't been able to do any while I've been off sick. I've been searching the Birmingham Dental Hospital website for lectures to go to but there has been none for hygienists. I also did some on the net but the link I was given to print the certificate out didn't work so that was a waste of time. If I don't do enough hours by August I will get chucked out of my job by the General Dental Council.
  When I woke up this morning my false eyelashes had come off in to the bed but I haven't found them yet. So I have had to buy yet more so I've decided to just wear them for when we go out for an evening as it's becoming rather expensive at £5 a time.
  Tomorrow we're going for a balti with a good friend who Gray works with who is also losing her job and on Friday we're going out with another good friend who is also losing his job.
 Anyway I must do some ironing.

Monday, 16 May 2011

Work Mates

Had a lovely day today, went in to work to see all my work mates who I've missed so much in the last 6 months while I've been off sick.They were all so welcoming and all gave me a hug.I saw one of the patients in the corridor and he said hello to me. I said to Gray see all the patients know me.
 Gray still hasn't had a letter confirming his redundancy.
 My brother Greg was supposed to be going to Aquarius today but he was having a delivery so he is going to make another appointment.
 We went to the Urban Pie for a meal in tows on the way home and then did some shopping and I bought some more eyelashes as spare.
   When I woke up this morning one of my eyelashes was half off and when I got home one of them was coming off. What a pain.

Friday, 13 May 2011

Gray's birthday present.

Went to Coventry today to get Gray's birthday present which is a Hornby Pullman model train. I also bought a new pair of false eyelashes which I will be very careful with them in the morning.

Thursday, 12 May 2011

eyelashes lost sadly

I bought some lovely natural looking false eyelashes from Boots in Solihull yesterday and glued them on after putting in my contact lenses and managed to loose one of the pair so I will have to go in again and get another pair.
 The pain I have been getting in my legs I'm pretty sure are caused by the chemo as I have had very tender arm muscles for a while and as one of the nurses said chemo can affect your body in all sorts of ways.
 I phoned my cousin Wyn today and we realised we had never met as I am much younger than her. She used to live in the same city as me Birmingham but moved down south to Essex. Gray's brother and his family live in Essex so I've asked him if we can visit her next time we go down there and he says yes. I can't wait to meet her. Her daughter's have been looking for me on facebook under my maiden name so now Wyn is going to tell them to look for my married name.I have just done a survey on Force about metastic breast cancer and prevention of ovarian cancer which I was very happy to do and would encourage others to do the same.

Tuesday, 10 May 2011

False eyelashes

Hi, with the chemo I have lost a lot of eyelashes so I bought some false eyelashes today.

Sunday, 8 May 2011

trip to town

Went into the city centre today by bus to pick up my contact lenses. I can definately see better with it but not as sharp as the other one. The optician wants to see me again in two weeks.
  I've recently started straightening my hair again since I srarted chemotherapy and every time I straighten it a load of hair comes out so I thought it was about time I started wearing my wig. When I bought the wig I bought some special shampoo for it which I lost. So I went into Selfridge's where I bought it from today to get some more. The lady who sold me it asked me where I'd bought it from and said it was gorgeous and really suits me I thanked her of course and was very flattered I said I am very happy with it.

Saturday, 7 May 2011

Hay fever sorted.

Today I started on a new antihistamine called Zirtak as my precious one clarytin had stopped working.Since taking it I haven't sneezed once it works great.


Went to a craft day today to learn how to make greeting cards which I'd tried to do before but hadn't got a clue what I was doing. Bought lots of lovejy stuff to make cards and met nice local people
 I also learned that I can't stay in one position for more than 3 hours because of my asthma, I get pains in my legs as I'm not circulating enough oxygen around my body by using my leg muscles. This could cause a problems at the cinema, theatre or lectures or for that matter on a long haul flight.
  The opticians phoned me to say my new prescription contact lenses are ready to pick up. So I'm into the city centre tom Yrrow to pick them up. Yipee!

Thursday, 5 May 2011

Chemo nearly over

Had my 5th and last but one chemo yesterday and am back on the chocolate and the booze!
Sadly my best friend Mo who had breast cancer the first time the year before me has it again. I just hope she hasn't got secondaries like me. Luckily she isn't BRCA positive.
I took my beconase inhaler back to the chemist's today as it's been playing up but it was working ok when I got there. The lady behind the counter said her mum has the same trouble with her's and she has to use it in different positions, the inhaler that is!
I now have my new prescription contact lens and my vision in that eye is so sharp I cam't see so well out of the other.So I saw my dishy Canadian optician today abd he reckons the eye I can't see out too well the contact lens is too strong so he's ordering me a new prescription for that eye.

Sunday, 1 May 2011

New doctor's practice

I am so pleased I changed to a new doctor's practice. My new doc gave me a stronger inhaler which my old doc's refused to give me and the pain in my legs I was getting daily due to lack of oxygen has completely gone and I've got my breath back. I feel like my old self again.

Friday, 29 April 2011

New prescrition

Had an appointment with my new doc today and yipee he gave me a stronger inhaler. Took the prescription to the chemists but they had run out of it so I will have to wait until tomorrow when I can go to Hingley's my favourite chemist which is a local firm and I'm always happy to promote Brummie firms. They were shut today because it's a bank holiday for the royal wedding of Harry sand Kate. I'm not in the slightest bit interested and I'm not a royalist. Up the revolution I say! There seems to be a lot of people not interested I've been talking to round here. I'm a proper chatterbox and talk to anyone I get a chance. It runs in the family, My mum was the same and all my cousins on her side are the same.
 Tomorrow I was supposed to be meeting up with 3 old work mates but there is a local football game there could be trouble at so we've cancelled it and are meeting next week instead.
 I've been trying to ween myself down with my steroid inhaler and took half the dose today and am sxuffering leg pain for it I am at the moment connected to the oxygen.
 Tomorrow I pick up my new contact lenses. I can't wait. Some years ago my optician gave me monovision lenses so that I could read without reading glasses. In other words one lens was stronger than the other. I left my lenses out while I wasn't well and wore my specs. I put them in again for 2 weeks and since I've had them out I've had double vision while my eyes try to readjust. I told my optician I didn't want them anymore and I wanted another prescription. He said that I would need to wear reading glasses. I said I would rather do that.

Tuesday, 26 April 2011

New doctor's practice

I was talking to a friend the other day who recommended I join her practice. Seeing as I'm very unhappy with the treatment my practice at the moment is giving me for my asthma I webt along to register today. There is one doc and he is an absolute sweetie. Iwas booked in that evening with the nurse for a health check and she is also a sweeie and really knows her stuff on asthma. There is a lovely friendly atmosphere about the whole place and I will definately be moving there.

Monday, 25 April 2011

oxygen not needed now

Ican get rid of the oxygen now yippe!

Got it!

The practice nurse said to take 2 puffs of my becotide inhaler but that didn't work so I tried 3 ,that didn't work either . Then5, no good then 7 and yes it worked1I was getting out of breath, every 2nd step while I was walking I had to stop for a breath but now I can walk my usual pace without getting out of breath and I have no pain in my legs. My inhaler is 50 mcgs which is a child's dose , 7 puffs is 250 mcgs which is what most people are on.
 I was talking to a friend across the road yesterday who used to have asthma and she suggested her nearby practice which has an asthma clinic. I will go down there tomorrow. I can't go today as it's Easter bank holiday Monday.

Friday, 22 April 2011

nurses appointment

After waiting for a week for a nurses appointment to get my asthma  diagnosed and get a stronger inhaler to help  me loosing oxygen in my body she said she hadn't got time for anything but she did suggest I should take 2 puffs of becotide instead of 1 and I'd have to wait another week.another week of being woken at 0600 by pain for another appointment, no thank you. I went to another nearby practice that has an asthma clinic but they wouldn't accept me without Gray joining aswell which he refused cos he didn't think they would accept him with his heart problems. They suggested another practice down the road by the old church and that I should go to the walk in centre at Solihull which I did and saw a very nice nurse but she wouldn't give me a prescription for an inhaler cos she didn't have any notes for me and said my GP should give me the prescription and that I should give them a kick in the backside or move to another practice. She asked what my inhaler's strength was and I said 50 and she said but that's the pediatric dose! I took 3 puffs of my inhaler this evening but still got the pain in my ankles so I will take 4 puffs tomorrow.So it's 0119 and I'm sitting in front of the computer with what little oxygen I have left, one tank is empty and the other nearly and it's Easter bank holiday this weekend so wont be able to get anymore for about 6 days.

Thursday, 21 April 2011

Most haunted

I'm getting the pain in my legs all day now and having to turn the oxygen right up to get rid of it. I was prescribed 2 litres but I'm having to use 8 now. that means my asthma is getting worse and worse and I can' believe the docs have left me like this I think they should be struck off. I was finding it very difficult to breath last night and Gray was very worried about me. I have an appointment with Diane the practice nurse at 12.0
 I'll let you all know how I get on. She will give me a stronger becotide inhaler I'm only on the minimum dose at the moment. Straight after my appointment I will be going to another local practice who have got an asthma clinic to ask if they will accept me.
   My favourite programme on telly is Most Haunted. I actually saw a ghost myself when I lived in Plymouth, Devon. I lived in Plymouth for 6 years, I loved the place and cried when I left it. I lived in a 2 roomed flat in a very old house that was built in the 19th century. One weekend my brother came to stay for the weekend and slept on top of my bed in a sleeping bag as I only had the one bed. I was woken in the night by  the feeling of someone coming in to the room and saw a black human shape float through the door and come to the end of the bed and bend over as if to see who was in the bed. I woke my brother to ask if he was getting up for the loo and he said no I'm here I shouted well what's that then. My brother saw it too. I then screamed and it disappeared.
My best friend Jane was very religious and called the vicar to see me. He asked where I'd seen it and he looked in the exact place I'd seen it float through the door. I went to the library to see who the original owner was and he was a chimney sweep! Some people suggested I see a psychiatrist! So I'm a believer. Not like Gray who is a sceptic.

Wednesday, 20 April 2011

Leaving orange after many years

The woman at orange tried to tell me I'd used the £20 credit I'd put on 2 days ago up on the internet and I hadn't used my phone at all in the 2 days since I topped it up. I got very angry and said I was going straight tgo the phone shop leaving them and getting a T-mobile sim card .She offered me a £10 refund but I said no I'd topped up with£20. I will never use that company ever again. I've been with them for years and never had treatment like that ever before. I will be getting Gray a T-mobile sim card too and putting in a formal complaint on Saturday. Big warning to all Orange customers.

bloody asthma and bloody orange.

Itopped my mobile phone up by £20 2 days ago' tried to phone Mo and Pete and it said I had no credit. I phoned Orange and they said I'd used it all up on the internet' I pointed out that their internet had been down for 2 days and I also pointed out that there was no way I'd spent£20 on the internet in 2 days. Long silence.
 My asthma has been getting worse and worse and I have had to increase the rate of the oxygen. I have had to wait a week for an an appointment at the docs and none of the docs have a peak flow meter. I have had to buy my own and I should have been given a prescription for one and it was expensive-£11. I need a stronger inhaler and I have to get that from the nurse and she works part time. Our very nice next door neighbours also has asthma and she goes to a nearby practice that has an asthma clinic so I'm going up there tomorrow after my appointment to see if they will take me on.
  The weather is lovely sunny and warm today and we are supposed to have a heat wave

Tuesday, 19 April 2011

no internet again

Our internet was down yet again today . It's only just come back and it's 1839. It's down regularly . In the last three days we've only had it for one day. i'm pretty sure it's BT doing work in the local telephone exchange . My Dad used to be a telephone engineer in that exchange so I know a bit about it. The other week I phoned our internet provider Sky to complain and they said they were going to complain to BT but it's no better at all so I'm going to phone them again.
  My oxygen was delivered today that our GP ordered and it's been a great help. I felt a lot better for it.
  Today we went into town to book an eye test for my contact lenses. It was the first time we'd been in for a while due to Gray's surgery and my illness and it was so nice to get there again. We saw a couple of friends we hadn't seen for a long time and I got a hug from both of them. Male I might add! I managed to find a horror fantasy book by my favourite author Clive Barker. I didn't realise he'd written and I am already enjoying it. I used to be an avid reader and as a child I always had my nose in a book but not so much for a while as not enough time.
 I was going to give up work cos I thought with secondary breast cancer I'd omly have 6 months to live but I've come across other ladies wh've lasted 10 years so I've decided to go back to work but part time perhaps 3 days a week cos Gray might no go back to work with jis dicky heart. He thinks I'm mad but I used to really enjoy my job and after working there 25 years I get on really well with all my work mates they're like sisters to me and have visited me and kept in touch every week and visited while I've been off sick.

Saturday, 16 April 2011

Feeling a bit better.

Now I have been using my becotide a bit longer it's working better. I bought a book on asthma written by the BMA  and it said it in there but I'm still getting out of breath at the littlest thing. I'm hoping Diane the practice nurse will be able to sort that out for me on Thursday as she is better trained in asthma treatment than the docs.
 I managed to get an appointment for my eye test today for the 30th April. I normally wear contact lenses but I left them out for a while when I wasn't well and then put them in for two weeks. My lenses were what's called monovision which means one lens is stronger than the other so I can read without reading glasses. Since I took them I've had double vision while my eyes try and readjust. I've had it before but couldn't understand why.

Thursday, 14 April 2011

Out of breath

I'm getting out of breath with every little thing I do due to my asthma and my peak flow is down. I wake up every day with pain in my ankles although it's a little better than it was as we now sleep with the window wide open so I can get more oxygen and it's freezing. I get woken up at 0630 am every day and have to go down and open the patio doors for more oxygen and freeze ! One of the GP's at our practice has ordered me some oxygen so I won't have to do this anymore. It should arrive next week I can't wait.
I had an apology letter from the crap Dr. today. and I've booked an appointment with the practice nurse Diane for next Thursday as she is very good at treating asthma patients. I've been recording my peak flow on a flow meter and graph paper so I can show Diane next week.
I bought a new mobile phone today for a reasonable price but I'm finding it difficult to get my head around it. I tried transferring all my numbers by bluetooth from my old phone but it wouldn't work so I'm having to do it one by one. What a pain.
We had a lovely couple of warm sunny days last weekend and I got all my t-shirts out and ironed but it went really cold again yesterday so I've had to iron all my jumpers again.
Michaels the offie has run out of apple and rasberry J2o's so I'm very dissapointed as I'm addicted to them after my cousin Pat introduced them to me the other week I didn't know they did apple and rasberry. I love rasberry.

Friday, 8 April 2011

A new woman

I managed to get a prescription for becotide through the receptionists today. Took one puff and instantly felt like a new woman. I've never been able to breath so easily in my life. Great big breaths without thinking about it.
When I went out I was so tired after 2 sleepless nights I could hardly walk and I was apologising to all for it. I took one puff and instantly felt like a new woman. I've never been able to breath so easy.Great big breaths
without thinking about it and full of energy. I've told Gray to watch out when his healed! I must be taking in10 times the oxygen. No wonder I was getting out of breath easily. I must have had asthma most of my life cos I've never been able to breath as easy as this.

wheeze wheee all night

I've been wheezing slightly all night and now I have that rotten pain in my legs again ouch stupid GP. I will be phoning the docs at 8.30 to ask for an urgent prescription. It's 5 am. As soon as I get home I will go to bed to get some sleep. I had to sleep on the sofa last night after a sleepless night thanks to that stupid doc.  I've decided to make a formal complaint about her.
 I have an allergy to dust mites and I always get a reaction when I get out of bed and that's when I had my asthma attack. I just couldn't risk sleeping in bed.

  I ought to change the title of my blog to Els life with breast cancer now I' ve got secondary breast cancer.
I was going to give up work cos I thought I'd only got about  monts to live but Iknow of people like me who've lasted 10 years. I'm now looking forward to going back to work as I really enjoyed my job.

Thursday, 7 April 2011

pain in the arse doc

today I went tu the docs to get a prescription for becotide after being up from 3 am in agonising pain. She wouldn't give me one and sent me to the QE just because I'd had an asthma attack! They asked why she'd sent me and I said I didn't know. They took a pee sample,blood pressure.pulse, temperature and blood sample all normal. They kept us there 'till 7.30 pm and I was getting really pissed off and discharged myself much to Gray's annoyance. It was a total waste of a day.

Asthma attack

It's 3 am and I'm up with terrible leg pain after my first attack this morning. I don't understand why. I will be phoning an asttma nurse tomorrow.
I have always had a nasal allergy to dus, pollen and mould spores. I also have exzma. They all run in the family.Every morning I aways sneeze and my nose runs. This morning I was wheezing from the time I got up and I knew it was astma.I booked an appointment with our FP and when I got outside it stopped. The doc gave me a ventolin inhaler. I was really out of breath and it took me about half an hour to get my breath back. My legs felt uncomfortable all day and now it's 3 am and I'm up with terrible pain in my legs. Iwill be phoning an astthma nurse tomprrow to ask about it. This evening I've never felt so tired in my life. My legs were uncomfortable all day and now it's 3 am and I'm up with terrible pain in my legs. I've taken a paracetamol in the hope I can get back to sleep.

Tuesday, 29 March 2011

29 th March 2011

Hi all
I feel just great now. Just like my old self. I'm even now more independent getting on buses now too.
Gray is now home after his quadruple bypass and is doing well. He was in hospital for a month which was awful for me. I cried every day and got through so many boxes of tissues. But I had wonderful support from wonderful friends and family.
 I am currently haf way through my chemotherapy and have had absolutely no side effects whatever not even sickness or nausea. I lost some hair after the first session but none after the second or third. I may even be lucky and keep my hair and not need the wig I bought!
We currently have my sister in law here who has come to look after Gray. It's lovely to see her as we get on so well together.
I had an epileptic fit on Saturday and bit a big chunk out of my tongue. We read the leaflet with the Epanutin and it says you should have monthly blood tests to check your levels of  the drug and I never have. I've been on it for 3 months. So I booked an appointment with the GP and asked him if it could have been brought on by stress and he said yes it could have done. He's booked me in with Diane the nurse for Monday. I'm finding it very difficult to chew with my bitten tongue so I'm living on soup and ice cream. Can't be bad!

Thursday, 10 March 2011

26th March

The other day I read the leaflet tha t came with the pain killer co-codomol that I am taking for the pain in my legs and itsaid don't take with the anti sickness tab they gave me to take so I stopped them and felt a lot better yesterday. However I had to walk a long way yesterday which tired my legs out and now I'm back in pain again.
Meanwhile my life has fallellen apart. My husband Gray has had a seccond hearrt attack and went into Sollihul hospital last Thursday .He.s now waiting to be transferred to univedrsity hospital Coventry for a triple bypass. I miss him so muvh and am scared for him.I've got through so many boxes of tissues crying.

We received our cencus to fill in the other day and as Gray says we can't put him on it if he's still in hospital.

Iwas hoping to visit him again today like I've done every other day but I will have to seee if I can get rid  of this pain first. I'll be devastated if I can't go.

Tuesday, 1 March 2011

I was determjned to sleep with my husband today..  So of course what happened. One time in the day I had to bend down to pick something up and my back went crack. then I trpped over the airer and pulled a back muscle. I  started off in bed but had pain in my legs so went down to the sofa again.Will try again tonight, fingers crossed. Gray took me for another short walk again last night and is taking about taking me for a meal.Whopee! A couple of my good freinds from work are coming to see me this evening which i'm really looking forward to it.

Monday, 28 February 2011

Fed up

I,m well and truly fed up to the back teeth with my legs and this constant pain. Will it ever go or am I stuck with it for ever? I haven't slept with my husband for a month or more I,m still stuck on the sofa so as not to disturb him.I have to get up regularly or I get very stiff and in pain again . The weather is  very cold and it's cold in the house. I daren't turn the heating up as my husband doesn't approve. He took me for a shrt wak yesterday wshich made my legs feel better and hopefully will this evening when he gets home from work. It was so good to get out of the house.
 My friend Claire cane to see me yesterday which helped cheer me up a bit and some more friends are coming tomorrow which will be great.

Friday, 25 February 2011

Legs feeling a little better today and diuretics are working well. Getting absolutely fed up of sleeping on the sofa.

Thursday, 24 February 2011

Still got cellulitis..Saw my oncologist yesterday and he gave me stronge antibiotics which I started yesterday. Extremely painful today but hopefully will feel better tomorrow. My friends from work phoned me this afternoon. Helen and Emma are coming to see me on Tuesday and Claire is coming round on Sunday.I'm looking forward to seeing them.

Saturday, 19 February 2011


Now receiving chemo once e very 3 weeks. Only had one so far and my hair has started to fall out alresdy. I have bought a  need sovely wig similar to my qwn hair. I had ny hair cut today and will  need some practiceu    putting it on..                                                                                                                                                                                                      

Monday, 14 February 2011

Ihave now started fec chemoaznd since I started I''ve had oral thush and cellulittis and I've only had ne dose so far The cellulitis has been awful .
I went to House of Frazer with my friend Mo on Monday to choose a wig which is very similar to my own and I''m very pleased with it .. Thhe next day while I was straightening my my hair more came out than usuall  I bought that wig just in time.

Thursday, 10 February 2011

Hi folks.Sorry for tye big gap but I'm back agaiuSince last time I was sent  for a lung scan and Iwas found to have a small blood clot on my lung and was prescribed daily injections which I voluntered to myself with lotsof huge bruises my husband now does them with huge bruises.
I started fec chemo on  26th January . They gtold me it would bung  me up and  they weren't jokong but with the help of movicolit was resolvedI wasn'tt sick at all.

On Monday this week my friend Mo came with me to choose a wig whjch is very similar ro my own and I'm very happy with The next day while straightening my hair I noticed a load more hair come  out thsn it seems like I bought it just in time.
Today is Thursday which means my friend Jayne will be skyping me which I look forward to every week.